The Rush
by Khaemera
Summary: Melanie and Sirius Black have been together since their days at Hogwarts. However, their marriage is now falling apart. Will Remus Lupin be able to help them save their relationship- or is it doomed to fail? SBOC/RLOC WARNING: Drug abuse and sex inside.
1. Introduction

**Alright, kiddos, I'm going to start this story off with several warnings. We're talking drug abuse, somewhat graphic sex, etc. If you are underage, I highly suggest you move on. I have other stories that don't have this type of content, and there is plenty out there from other authors, as well! Now, with that being said, if you came here BECAUSE of the M rating, then carry on!**

Rain lashed at the windows as Remus Lupin sat comfortably in his armchair before the fire. He was studying a book that lay in his lap as the flames in the grate threw shadows against the walls of his modest cottage. It was late fall, and he was looking forward to the next day, when he would begin his weekend with a nice, long walk in the woods behind his home. The leaves were painted crimson and orange at this time of year, and he loved watching his breath turn to mist as he crunched his way along the narrow path. He glanced at the clock, thinking to himself that he would finish this chapter and then he would head to bed.

_Knock, knock._

Remus looked up at the sound of someone tapping on his front door. Whoever could it be at this time of night? He rose, placing his book face-down on the chair to mark his place and weaving his way around many more piles of books scattered throughout his living room. He opened the door a crack, meaning to glance outside and identify who it was on his doorstep, but whoever it was pushed against the door as soon as he turned the latch, causing him to stumble backwards. Before he could open his mouth to yell, his eyes fell on the cloaked figure, and his heart began to race.

"Melanie?" The young woman looked up at him at the sound of her name, her eyes brimming with tears under the scarlet wool of her cloak. Silent sobs wracked her figure as Remus quickly closed the door and stepped towards her. "Melly, what's wrong? Where's Sirius?"

At the mention of her husband's name, Melanie's mouth twisted into an anguished grimace. "I hate him!"

Remus raised an eyebrow. Melanie and Sirius had always had a- well, tempestuous relationship, dating back to their years at Hogwarts. He was not a stranger to their passionate arguments, although they usually ended with the two making loud, rough love on the nearest available surface. Remus could count on one hand the number of times Melanie had stormed off in tears.

Concerned, he led her into the kitchen and took her cloak, hanging it above the fireplace so it would dry and putting the tea kettle on to boil. He sat down beside her at the kitchen table and met her eyes for the first time since she entered his home. "What happened?"

Melanie brushed a black curl behind her ear and sniffled. Her blue eyes were rimmed with red, and her mascara had smeared down her cheeks. "He's at it again, Remus." She swiped at her face with a fist as Remus digested her words. He knew exactly what she meant.

He sighed and shook his head. "Do we know this one?"

Melanie gave him a stony look. "I don't have to know her," she said furiously. "She's a cheating, conniving, slutty whore like the rest of them!"

Remus gathered her hands into his and squeezed them gently. "Melly, Sirius has always been like this. You knew, when you married him-"

"That he's a cheating, lying bastard?" she finished.

He frowned. "Melly-"

She pulled her hands out from his grasp and buried her tear-stained face in them. Dry sobs shook her shoulders as she resumed crying into her hands. When she spoke again, her voice was muffled. "When he asked me to marry him, I thought it was over. I thought he had changed, that he wanted to settle down." When Remus didn't answer, she looked up. "Why did he marry me if he wasn't ready to stop snogging random women? Why did he propose if he didn't want to be a proper husband?"

Remus sighed. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "I thought the same thing. Sirius loves you, Melly, I know he does."

She made a scoffing sound and looked away.

The tea kettle began to whistle, and Remus stood and filled two cups before handing her one and settling back into his chair with the other. He sighed. Melanie had been a part of the group since their fourth year at Hogwarts, and she and Sirius had an on-again, off-again relationship throughout the rest of their time there. It wasn't until after Sirius and Remus had both become active in the Order that Sirius saw the need to propose to Melanie. Remus hadn't been surprised- the War brought on a lot of last-minute marriages. But he had thought that of all people, Melanie and Sirius had the best chance of survival. While their relationship was certainly rocky at times, deep down the emotions were there.

Of course, Remus had never seen the need to tell Melanie of his own feelings. There was no point in asking a woman to love him- his status as a half-blood and a werewolf was enough to prevent anyone from taking his devotion seriously. Melanie deserved a better man than he was- and Sirius had stepped in. So he had loved her from a distance, all these years. It tore at his heart every time she came to him about Sirius' infidelities- this was not the first time, and he couldn't understand how his best friend could cheat on such a beautiful, intelligent, and loving woman. But he kept his opinions to himself and did what he could to keep their marriage from falling apart. Someone deserved happiness in this world.

"Remus." He looked up at the sound of his name and met blue eyes. "Am I a bad wife?" Melanie looked utterly broken and defeated.

He shook his head vehemently. "No, of course not."

"Then why does he do this?"

He looked away, unable to come up with a decent explanation. He knew Sirius loved Melanie- but sex had always been an addiction for him. He was able to separate his love from his sexual adventures- something Remus would never be able to understand. Sirius needed the chase, needed the thrill of making a girl fall for him, and he needed the satisfaction of taking her to bed afterwards, if only to prove that he could. Nothing had changed since their days at Hogwarts. Remus sighed and ran a hand through his graying hair. "You know how he is, Melly," he sighed. "It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you-"

She shook her head. "I envy the woman you marry, Remus," she confessed softly, avoiding his gaze. "She will never have to feel like this."

He reached out and gently brushed an ebony curl behind her ear. "No, I couldn't treat someone that way." Especially her.

Another knock sounded at the door, and the friends' eyes met. "Sirius," Melanie whispered, but Remus was already on his feet and moving towards the door. Before he could reach it, Sirius let himself in. He stood in the doorway and frowned at his best friend. "Where's Melanie?" he asked gruffly. His black hair was dripping with rainwater, and he was flushed. Remus felt his nostrils twitch as the scent of alcohol and sex reached his nose.

"In the kitchen," he told him, and Sirius brushed past him brusquely, striding through the house as if it was his. Remus followed.

When they entered the room, Melanie was on her feet. "Go home, Sirius," she said coldly. "I have nothing to say to you."

Sirius smirked. "Good, because I have plenty to say to you, and you can stay quiet and listen."

Melanie scowled at him. "Unless you are here to apologize for the blonde whore that I'm sure just left my house, I don't want to hear a word you have to say."

Sirius waved his hand vaguely in the air, as if the blonde woman was just a minor irritation. "She's gone, don't fuss about it. The house is all yours."

Melanie stomped her foot, infuriated that Sirius didn't seem to understand what she was upset about or to be taking her seriously. "No, actually, it's not. That house is not mine. It's yours, it's mine, and it's whatever slut you bring home's."

Sirius shrugged. "I don't see why you're so upset about this."

Melanie was furious. "I'm tired of it, Sirius! I can't take it anymore! You disrespect me by running around behind my back, and that's bad enough- but it is completely disgusting that you are willing to bring these women home! Can't you just fuck them in a hotel and at least _pretend_ you're an honest husband?"

Sirius frowned. "I think you forget, darling, that as your husband, I have rights."

Remus flinched as Melanie began screaming. "Those laws were written hundreds of years ago! They don't apply anymore, Sirius! I am your wife, and I deserve some goddamn respect!"

Sirius took a step towards her and stopped. "What about the respect I'm due?" he snarled. "All you do all day is sit around and mope over the baby- what the hell am I supposed to do with a wife who ignores me? I have needs, Melly, and if you won't satisfy them, I will find someone who will."

Tears began streaming down Melanie's face at the mention of the child she had lost two years ago. Not long after their graduation from Hogwarts, she had found out that she was pregnant- and Remus was sure this had something to do with Sirius' hasty proposal. But after twenty weeks, something went wrong, and Melanie lost the child she had been carrying. She had taken it very badly, and still cried at the drop of a hat. Rather than feel sympathy for his young wife, however, Sirius had resented her depression as she withdrew into herself. If he had wanted to hurt her, he had found the best way.

"Sirius-" Remus began, attempting to warn his friend before all hell broke loose.

He was too late. "How am I supposed to feel inclined to fulfill my wifely duties when I spend my days scrubbing other women's lipstick off of your shirts?" she snarled. "You come home one night a week- if that- reeking of alcohol and cigarettes and other women's perfume! Do you honestly think I want your hands on me after that?"

Sirius shrugged. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"I'm leaving you." Melanie's words were cold, and full of a dreadful certainty.

Remus opened his mouth to interfere, but Sirius beat him to it. "You can't." He gave his wife a haughty look. "You know that wizarding law doesn't recognize divorces, and if you shack up with another man- I swear to God I will drag you home by your hair if I have to."

Melanie didn't reply; she just stood there with angry tears flowing down her cheeks. "Why are you so hateful, Sirius?" she whispered. "I love you. I've always loved you. Why do you treat me like this?"

"Because you let me," Sirius said honestly.

Silence ensued as the couple regarded each other. Finally, Sirius stepped forward and pulled his wife into his arms. Burying his face in her black curls, he said, "I'm sorry, Melly. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just- Life's so short, you know?"

Melanie nodded her agreement and sniffled into Sirius' robes. Sirius turned to Remus. "I'm taking her home," he announced in a tone of finality. "Sorry to bother you, Moony."

Remus just stood in his kitchen, his ears still ringing from the heated argument in his kitchen, as Sirius led his wife to the door. If this was how they acted in front of him, how much worse was it when they fought at home?


	2. Explanations

**This is a very short chapter, but necessary to set the stage for some later action. I have to say up front that I most certainly do not condone the usage of illegal drugs- I've been around people who do, and it is astonishingly sad, heartbreaking, and infuriating to watch clever people throw their lives away in search of a high that doesn't last. Don't try it. *climbs off of soapbox* I have made Sirius kind of a jerk in this story- I am still madly in love with him, don't get me wrong, but I thought it would be a nice change from my usual characterization of the man. Now, read on and enjoy! As always, reviews are appreciated!  
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Later that night, Melanie lay curled on the floor of their living room, drifting in a beautiful, lazy haze. She smiled up at her husband from where her head lay on his lap. "Mmmm," was all she said.

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Better?" he asked.

Melanie laughed as the heroin they had just injected sped through her veins. She looked up to see her husband smiling dopily. "Much," she admitted. The rush that came immediately after injecting the drug was always amazing, although Melanie noticed that it took more and more of the drug to reach that high. She and Sirius had experimented with heroin as teenagers, when they were home for the summer from Hogwarts. It produced a high that no potion or spell could replicate. Sirius, who never wanted for gold, would pick it up and bring it home as a way to relax when alcohol stopped being enough. After the first time he had convinced her to try it, Melanie was hooked. She didn't like needles, but she was willing to push that fear aside, just for a moment, so that she could have that euphoria again.

She nuzzled Sirius' thigh with her cheek. "Why do we fight?" she asked him idly.

He shrugged and tossed a used needle across the room. "I dunno. They say love and hate are two sides of passion."

She twisted around so that she could sit up and look into his silver eyes. "Do you hate me?"

He thought about it. Melanie was too high to care that he didn't answer right away. "Sometimes," he admitted. "But I still love you."

Melanie thought about this. "Same here," she said thoughtfully. "I feel the same way."

"You fuck good," Sirius observed.

Melanie laughed. "Well. I fuck well."

Sirius slid a hand under her arm and pulled her to him, lying back on the carpet and resting her weight on top of him. She could feel his arousal against her thigh and grinned at him. "Need something?" she asked teasingly.

He nodded and wrapped a fist in her hair. "Mmm-hmm." He kissed her, groaning into her mouth when she ground her hips against him. He rolled over so that she was pinned beneath him and began unbuckling his belt. Melanie giggled, still riding the high from the heroin, allowing him to place hot, wet kisses down her neck as he pushed her robes off of her shoulders and pulled her shirt up so that it was around her neck. He kissed down her body, and she laid back and enjoyed his ministrations. He was sloppy- as the high wore off, an intense sleepiness would overcome them. He wanted to fuck her while he was still high- wanted that combination of the drug and his own orgasm. That was why he met random women at the bar and brought them home- women who knew how to have a good time, women who wouldn't berate him or nag at him or expect him to care about them. He was chasing the dragon. Melanie knew what he wanted, and she didn't fight him as he took her there on the floor, grunting and panting as he worked towards his finish. She dug her fingernails into the skin on his back, drawing blood. He didn't pay any attention to her- he never did. When he came, he cried out in pleasure and bit down on her shoulder. He pulled out of her and rolled over so that he was lying next to her, his eyes closed and his breathing ragged. Melanie smiled at him and brushed a strand of black hair from his forehead as he fell into the sleepy state caused by the heroin. She waited until his breathing slowed before pushing two fingers inside of herself and working her way to her own orgasm. When she finished, she whispered a name that was not her husband's. Feeling only slightly guilty, she curled up beside Sirius and dozed off.


	3. Arguments

"GET OUT!" Melanie shrieked, throwing another plate at her husband's head and smiling with smug satisfaction when he ducked. The plate shattered into a hundred pieces against the wall, and Sirius glared at her. "Would you quit doing that?" he yelled.

"I mean it, Sirius Black! I have HAD it with you!" She looked around for something else to throw, her eye catching on the pot she had used to make the spaghetti dinner that now sat cold on the table. She had cooked dinner for him, anxious for him to come home so that they could spend some time together, only to be hit with a nauseating wave of cheap perfume the moment he walked in the door. Worse, he was high again. How could he do it without her? She grabbed the handle of the pot and slung it at him, laughing maniacally as cold pasta slung out across the floor before the pot itself came in contact with her husband's shin.

"For the love of God, wife!" Sirius bellowed. He was extremely thankful that they owned their own home- their frequent, not to mention violent, fights were not something he wanted to explain to nosy neighbors. His mind was swimming with the tail end of his euphoric state, and he wanted nothing more than to relax on the couch and doze off, content to sleep away his life in a dreamy haze. But that was not what his wife had in mind.

"You and your stinking, pure, Black blood can go sleep in the street for all I care!" she yelled. "Better yet, go find another one of your whores to take you in, I'm sure they'd trade you a good fuck for some more of that dope you've got in your pockets. Or did you use it already?" she taunted.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "You're one to talk to me about dope. Obviously, you missed your dose today. You're shaking like a leaf, love." His tone was deadly venomous.

Melanie wrapped her arms around herself, annoyed that he had noticed. "Give me some," she insisted.

Sirius gave her an arrogant look. "Why should I?"

Melanie picked up another plate and held it over her head as if she were about to throw it.

"Fine," Sirius spat, digging a tiny plastic bundle out of his pocket and tossing it on the floor. "Enjoy, darling. I'll be back in the morning." Without waiting for her to respond, he stomped out the door.

Melanie hurried over and picked up the bundle her husband had dropped. Damn him, she thought. He is such a bastard. She headed into the bedroom to find a clean needle and the other supplies she would need before settling down at the kitchen table. Almost immediately after injecting the drug she felt a fantastic high simmer in her veins. She didn't care about him. This was all she needed. She felt her head begin to droop and leaned over to rest her head on her arms. Slowly, everything went black.

* * *

><p>"My God, Melly, what have you done?"<p>

Melanie struggled to open her eyes at the familiar voice. "Remus?" she murmured.

Strong hands grabbed her shoulders and forced her to sit back. She kept her eyes squeezed shut against the bright light of the kitchen and allowed her head to loll about on her neck. She didn't have the strength to lift it. She didn't care.

"Melly, what is this?" She heard clattering sounds as Remus sifted through the paraphernalia on the kitchen table. He put a hand under her chin and tilted her head up so she would have to meet his eyes. "What is this?" he asked again.

"Heroin," she mumbled. Remus bit his lip at how dilated her pupils were, and her skin was clammy beneath his fingers. Blue eyes squinted up at him as she fought sleep. "What are you doing here?"

"You invited me over for dinner, remember?" he reminded her. At her blank look, he knew she had forgotten. Looking around the kitchen, he took in the shattered china and spaghetti all over the floor and knew that he had just missed a fantastic row. He frowned at her. "Can you stand up?" he asked.

She shook her head, and Remus took action. Scooping her up into his arms, he marveled at how light she was. He stroked her hair back from her face. "It's going to be okay, Melly, I promise," he assured her. "I'm going to take you to James'."

She shook her head again. "No, don't do that," she argued. "I don't wanna bother him…" She trailed off, losing her train of thought. "You should try some, Remy."

He looked down at his best friend's wife and fought the urge to be sick. "No, I'd rather not," he said, and spun on his heel to Apparate them to the Potters' before she could argue.

* * *

><p>Melanie heard voices and opened her eyes to see long red hair and Lily's concerned face hovering over her. "Oh, thank God, she's awake, James," Lily said to her husband over her shoulder.<p>

Melanie groaned. She wanted to be left alone to sink into her depression- the heroin helped her not to think about the baby, or her cheating scumbag of a husband. She didn't want to be awake.

"Is there anything we can do for her?" James sounded nervous. He and Sirius were especially close.

Remus shook his head at his friend. As a half-blood, he was more aware of Melanie's addiction than the others were. "It's a Muggle drug," he explained. "It's in her blood. We have to wait for it to work out of her system."

"Then what?" Lily looked worried.

"Then we keep her here until she detoxes," Remus answered. "She's going to hate me, but it's for her own good. She can't keep doing this to herself." His fingertip softly traced the track marks in the crook of her elbow. "These are from the needles she uses to inject the stuff. She's been doing this for a while, Prongs."

Lily's breath caught as James gave Remus a pleading look. "Sirius isn't-?"

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sure that's where she's getting it," he admitted finally. "Sirius has never been risk-averse."

James growled in his throat as Lily frowned. "Why would he give it to her?" She looked down at Melanie as the young woman slipped back into unconsciousness. "She's his wife, for God's sake."

"I don't know," Remus replied; his voice was the last thing that Melanie heard before she was enveloped by blackness.


	4. Detox and Relapse

**Again, I know Sirius is more of a jerk in this story than most people are used to. I just wanted to try something different. Hopefully, this chapter will help illustrate just how selfish and controlling he is and why his and Melanie's marriage is not exactly 'happy'.**

Remus was awoken by a soft cry in the middle of the third night after he had brought Melanie to the Potters'. As a werewolf, his sense of hearing and of smell were heightened beyond those of a normal human, and the noise had come from the pile of blankets on the couch that was Melanie. He got up slowly from his spot on the floor- he had refused to go back to his house and leave James and Lily to handle Melanie's inevitable detox on their own. He sat on the edge of the couch and stroked Melanie's hair as she thrashed about. She was still asleep, but her skin was on fire. He was sure her head was hurting; she kept writhing against the pillow as if to drown out the pain in her skull. Remus' heart broke at the sight of her in pain, but he knew it was for the best. And it certainly didn't help that no one had heard from Sirius, despite the fact that this was the third night she had been gone. This simply reaffirmed Remus' suspicion that Sirius wasn't home most nights. It made him sick.

Melanie whimpered, and he bit his lip. She was hot, but her skin was clammy. The hands that gripped either side of her head were shaking uncontrollably. He hated to hurt her, but he had to break her of this. The heroin would kill her one day.

Suddenly, Sirius climbed out of the fireplace, dusting ash from his robes. "Thank God," he said, when he saw Remus sitting beside his wife. "There you are." He walked over and frowned down at Melanie's shivering form. "What is she doing here?" he asked, addressing Remus.

Remus frowned at him. "I found her passed out at the kitchen table two days ago. I brought her here so Lily could keep an eye on her."

Something flickered across Sirius' aristocratic features, but Remus knew better than to hope it was shame. It was Sirius fearing his reaction to the drugs. He knew that the werewolf had no qualms about cutting him off, as he had obviously done to Melanie. And Sirius was not about to submit to detox.

Remus felt his grip on Melanie's shoulder tighten protectively. "She's staying here, Sirius," he said meaningfully.

His friend scowled at him. "Like hell she is. She's coming home with me."

"You can't just-"

Their argument was interrupted by Melanie's cry of pain. She sat up suddenly, awake and aware of her surroundings. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of her husband. "What do you want?" she sneered, trying desperately not to let him see how much she was hurting.

Sirius glared at Remus. "I'm taking you home. He had no right to bring you here."

Melanie closed her eyes, in no condition to argue. "Please," she whimpered. "Please tell me you have some…"

Remus looked at her and then at Sirius. "Do you see what that crap has done to her?" he asked angrily. "She's hurting!"

Sirius shrugged. "It'll stop once she's had a hit." He grabbed her hand and tried to pull her to her feet, but she was too weak to stand. "Melly," he said, exasperated, as she sat down on the floor and buried her head in her knees. She began to cry.

Remus was on his feet. "Sirius, she's not going anywhere. She's been here for three days already- another three or four and she'll be clean. She can't keep using this stuff!"

Sirius grimaced at him. "Hasn't hurt her yet," he said insensitively. He held his arms out to Remus, as if to show him his own track marks under his sleeves. "Hasn't hurt me, either, has it?"

"That stuff will kill you," Remus ground out. "You can't-"

"She's my wife and I will do what I please with her," Sirius said loudly, talking over him. "Besides, she wants it. She's begging for it. Listen."

The two men paused, and Remus could just barely make out Melanie's repetitive whispers, "Please. Please. Please."

Sirius gave him a triumphant look, as if he had just proven an important point, and picked Melanie up into his arms. "I'll thank you to stay out of my marriage, Moony," he said sharply before Apparating back to their home.

* * *

><p>When they appeared in the living room of their home, Sirius dumped Melanie ungraciously onto the floor. Sprawling beside her, he pulled a lighter and the heroin from his jacket pocket, tossing them carelessly onto the carpet. Leaving her alone on the floor for a few minutes, he gathered the rest of the paraphernalia from the bedroom. He filled the syringe and looked over at his wife. She thought she saw something- pity? sympathy?- in his gaze before he motioned to her to come sit in his lap. She complied and he helped her roll up her sleeve so he could wrap the tourniquet around her arm. He carefully slid the needle under her skin and administered the drug. She sighed happily as the euphoria hit her and leaned her head back onto his chest in ecstasy as the pain vanished.<p>

Sirius laughed. "Fucking Remus. Doesn't know what he's talking about, does he, love?" he said happily, rolling his own sleeve back and taking a hit of the drug. Rubbing the spot on his arm, he grimaced. "God, yes," he murmured, feeling the drug rush through his veins. He grinned at his wife. "I missed you, Melly; why'd you leave me?"

"I didn't," she protested, turning around to kiss him. "Remus didn't give me a choice."

Sirius wrapped his arms around her and leaned back against the couch, straddling her with his long legs. "Well, you're home now," he said simply. "We don't need him interfering. We're okay, right?"

She leaned back to kiss the stubble on his jaw. "Right," she agreed.


	5. Confessions

**Important chapter, chickies. Also, this is where the slight M rating comes in. Don't say I didn't warn you. *Kisses!***

"Remus."

Remus looked up from his cup of tea a week later and was startled to see Melanie standing in the doorway of his kitchen. How the hell had she gotten in without him hearing her? "Melly?"

When he looked closely, he could see she was crying again. He sighed. The cycle was getting old after all of these years- and yet he couldn't force himself to just walk away. "Is he-?"

"Gone." That was the only explanation he needed. He pulled out the chair beside him. "Come sit down," he said heavily.

She ignored the chair and instead climbed into his lap like a child. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she whimpered into his shoulder. "I'm so tired of this," she sobbed.

Remus sighed again. "Me, too, Melly." He paused, rubbing her back gently. "I wish there was something I could do."

She stopped crying. "Well," was all she said.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Well, what?" he prodded. "I'm not confronting him, if that's what you mean," he protested. "I see how you two fight."

Melanie sat up enough to look into his brown eyes with her blue ones. "I wish you were my husband," she confessed.

Remus placed a hand over her mouth, scandalized. "Don't say such things, Melly," he chided. "What's done is done."

Her eyes filled with tears again. "But-" she started. He moved his hand so she could speak. "You've always been there for me," she whispered, looking lost. "You are so good to me, Remus. You treat me better than Sirius ever has."

He frowned at her, trying to ignore how his heart constricted at the sight of her tears and the way his blood rushed at her words. "Melly, Sirius loves you. And you love him."

"And you love me." It wasn't a question. Brown eyes met blue ones as he confronted the truth that was now hanging in the air between them.

He swallowed. "That...doesn't matter," he told her, shaking his head.

Melanie reached out and caressed his cheek. "Why didn't you ever say anything to me?" she asked softly.

He shrugged dismissively. "I'm a werewolf, Melly, I can't provide you the kind of life that Sirius can."

"Because he's a pure blood."

"Because he's a Black." He frowned. "It wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to love me."

She spoke so softly, he wasn't sure he had heard her. "And what if I already do?"

They considered each other for a long time, before Remus finally- _finally_- leaned forward and touched his lips to hers. She whimpered and began kissing him back passionately. He groaned when she shifted on his lap, burying his hands in her black curls and sighing as she began kissing along his jaw line. "Melly-" he said thickly.

"I want you," she said simply against his neck. Her breath was warm against his skin. "Please, Remus- I want to know what it's like to be with someone who actually cares about me."

Ordinarily, he would have corrected her for thinking that Sirius didn't care, but his mind had gone foggy as soon as he had heard the word 'please'. He began placing hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck, his heart pounding in his ears as her breath caught. When he slid a hand inside her robes, she moaned. "Mmmm, Remus, that feels- ng- please."

He leaned back and nibbled her earlobe. "Please, what?"

He grinned as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer so that she could feel him pressed up against her thigh. Her eyes flew open. She reached out and grabbed a handful of his hair, tugging on it sharply and causing him to bite his lip in a heady mixture of pleasure and pain. "Mmm- fuck me."

His heart was pounding so loud, he was surprised she couldn't hear it. "Please," she cried again as she began to rock in his lap. "Remus-"

He'd had enough of teasing her. He was in no mood to play. He wanted her with an intensity that was unmatched by any desire he had ever felt in his life. He slid a trembling hand up her thigh beneath her robes, caressing her skin and reveling in the way her breath caught at his touch. He kissed her again, hard, before getting to his feet. She wrapped her legs around him and continued kissing his collarbone as he carried her upstairs to the bedroom. All thoughts of Sirius and betrayal vanished from his mind the instant she removed her robes to display alabaster skin. He pushed her roughly onto the bed, and she laughed as he tugged frantically at his own clothing. Frenzied kisses were interspersed throughout their movements, and when he finally gave her what she wanted, she cried out in pleasure. He moved above her, marveling at how soft her skin was, how warm her body was, and how beautiful her smile was. When she gripped his shoulders and gasped, he finished with her- driving into her with all the force he could muster and grunting as he came.

Afterward, he pulled her naked body to his and began placing tender kisses along her back. She sighed. "Remus."

"Mmmm?" He nipped and licked along the back of her neck, feeling her shiver at the pleasant sensation.

She groaned and rolled over, reaching for him. He rested his head on her breast and sighed as she wrapped her arms around him, closing his eyes and relaxing. Her fingers slid idly through his hair as she smiled down at him. Within minutes, he was fast asleep.


	6. Revelations

**This is kind of a filler chapter; some explanations are needed for what just happened. There is a tiny bit of smut here. :)  
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"Love."

Remus stirred at the sound of Melanie's voice, feeling a surge of joy and guilt when he realized that he was still lying next to her, naked and sweaty. He sat up and kissed her soundly. "Hi."

She smiled. "Hi," she replied. She looked towards the window, and Remus was shocked to see that it was late at night. He frowned at her. "You should go home," he told her. "Sirius-"

"Sirius doesn't care where I am," she replied. She cocked her head where it rested on his pillow and considered him. "Unless you want me to leave."

"No!" He blushed, ashamed at how quickly the word had escaped his lips. "Melly-"

She bit her lip. "Do you regret it?"

He shook his head, leaning down to kiss her again, dragging his lips softly against hers. "Not at all."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and wriggled back underneath him. "Good. Me either."

He began kissing her again, feeling his desire rising, until he noticed that she was trembling. He looked up at her, concern in his eyes. "Melly, do you feel alright, love?"

She blinked at him and looked away. "Of course."

He sighed, sitting back and frowning as he ran a hand through his graying hair. "You need a fix."

"I'm fine." He knew by the way she refused to look at him that she was lying. He'd known her for almost ten years already. "Darling, go home and let him help you."

"I don't need him." He heard tears in her voice.

Remus reached out and stroked a raven curl behind her ear. "I know you don't. But you need it."

Intense blue eyes stared into his. "I want to stop," she confessed in a whisper. "I want to, Remus, but I can't."

He ran a gentle, calloused finger along her naked hip, smiling when she shivered. Pulling her to him, he whispered, "Let me help you forget, then, love." Melanie moaned and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his neck and sighing as he stroked her skin.

They made love several more times that night, and when Melanie left in the morning, kissing his cheek and murmuring words of devotion in his ear, Remus had to fight the urge to force her to stay. He knew that as soon as she went home, she would fall back into her ways- and he wanted nothing more than to show her how life could be.

* * *

><p>Several days later, she returned. He wiped away her tears and pulled her close, kissing her cheeks and whispering assurances that everything would be all right. He ignored the smell of Sirius on her skin, and the fresh track marks in her arm- choosing instead to love every inch of her while he could.<p>

She sighed and allowed him to remove her clothes, revealing one agonizingly perfect inch of skin at a time. Oh, how he loved this woman! Remus buried his face in her hair, cursing himself for not claiming her sooner, but thankful for every moment that he had with her now.

Melanie would always love Sirius, despite his faults. They had been together for many years- since they were teenagers- and it was hard to walk away. Besides, wizarding law did not provide for divorces. The laws were definitely slanted in the husband's favor- Sirius was free to do what he liked, but the consequences for her adultery, if she were to be caught, were severe. This stemmed from the wizarding world's reliance on blood purity- as a pureblood, it was inconceivable that Melanie should have a child by anyone other than another pureblood. The Blacks were a very old and respected wizarding family, and Melanie's parents had jumped at the opportunity to marry their daughter to the eldest son of the family- even if Sirius had already established himself as a rogue.

Lying naked beside the sleeping form of her lover, however, Melanie became aware of a new feeling. She had always been fond of Remus- he was a good man, loyal, handsome, intelligent- even if he was only a half-blood. But now she realized that she felt a kind of tenderness towards him. Was this love? Her relationship with her husband had always been tempestuous and stormy- they were constantly arguing and breaking up before mending their marriage. Remus simply accepted her for who she was- mistakes and all. Besides, hadn't Sirius been responsible for dragging her into the world of drugs and addiction? She couldn't lay all of the blame at his doorstep; she had willingly tried whatever he offered, but without him, she most likely would never have experimented.

Melanie reached over and stroked a lock of hair from Remus' forehead. He stirred and murmured in his sleep before wrapping an arm around her waist and scooting closer to her. She smiled. Sirius was hardly ever home; he had yet to realize that she was spending night after night in his best friend's arms. The only time Melanie felt guilty for her actions was during the full moon. She was unable to see Remus at those times, and Sirius would exercise his rights as a husband. She still enjoyed his touch, but his rough, passionate caresses were so different from Remus' tender lovemaking. The days prior to and right after the full moon, however, Remus' sex drive was incredible. She knew it was just the wolf within, begging to be released, but she couldn't help but marvel as her mild, quiet friend took what he wanted with abandon. She loved it.

And so the months passed, with Melanie finding solace in Remus' arms.


	7. Conversations

**So, apparently, my lovely British cousins across the sea don't hold baby showers. You're missing out on free food and free baby crap, ya'll. ;) If you don't like the idea of a shower (since it's not "authentic"), just think of it as a social gathering wherein the guests give the pregnant woman gifts, lol.  
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"Where are they?" Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation as her husband placed a tray of finger foods on the table in the Potters' sitting room. She placed a hand on her obviously pregnant belly and looked pointedly at Remus.

He raised an eyebrow. "How should I know?"

Lily stared him down. "I know there's something going on between you and Melanie, Remus," she said bluntly. "You've both been acting strangely for months. I don't care- Sirius treats her like shit- but I figure you know where she is, at least most of the time."

Remus narrowed his eyes at his best friend's wife. "There is nothing between Melly and me," he insisted.

"Ha! I call bullshit, Moony," James said over his shoulder as he walked back into the room with more food from the kitchen. "You don't have to act all noble around us; I know you've loved her since sixth year."

"Fourth year," Remus muttered under his breath. Lily raised an eyebrow but otherwise ignored him.

"They better not show up high at my baby shower." Lily's voice carried a tone of warning.

"Good luck with that!" James said, shaking his head. "Honestly, I don't know what possessed her to marry him. I guess love makes people do crazy things."

"She may love him, but he certainly doesn't love her back," Remus interrupted. "And she's beginning to realize that, I think. She's started distancing herself from him."

"What, while she's shagging you?" James teased. When Remus turned red, James looked over at his wife, a question written on his face. He'd only been teasing.

Lily reached across the table and placed a soft hand on Remus'. "Remus, is there something you're not telling us?" she asked quietly. She found it hard to believe that Remus- good, gentle Remus- would interfere in his best friend's marriage like that. Surely there was another explanation for his strange behavior.

Before he could reply, Sirius and Melanie walked into the living room. Remus' face immediately went blank as the couple greeted James and Lily. He watched Melanie with a critical eye, and knew immediately that they were both high again. He sighed. He had to break her of this.

As Sirius greeted James with a bark of laughter and wrapped his arm around the other man's shoulders, Melanie sank onto the couch beside Remus. Lying back, she closed her eyes. "Mmm," she murmured, enjoying the relaxing effects of the heroin. She turned her head and smiled at Remus. "Hello, Remy."

He frowned at her. "What are you doing?" he hissed. "You can't show up high at Lily's baby shower!" The redhead was watching both of them from her seat across the room, trying to decipher their relationship.

Melanie laughed. "Oh, quit being a goody-two-shoes," she admonished.

Remus leaned close to her ear. "You've got to stop this, Melly," he pleaded.

She turned her head, her lips now millimeters from his. "Or what?"

Remus sat back, passing a hand over his face. "Melly, don't-"

"Hey, Moony!" Sirius held his arms out for Remus to stand and give him a brotherly hug. Sirius winked at him. "Having fun?" he asked. He looked Remus' tired form up and down before remarking, "Moons, you need a woman. You look exhausted."

Remus shook his head. "No, Pads, don't."

Sirius collapsed on the couch beside his wife, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "This little woman does wonders for my energy," he joked. Melanie refused to meet Remus' eyes as he continued, "Hearing a pretty girl cry out your name will cure all your ills, Moony."

Remus looked around at Lily uncomfortably. The redhead now had a pretty good grasp on the situation. She smiled and stood to her feet. "James made cake," she announced. "I hope it's edible," she teased, winking at her husband and reaching out to hold his hand. Remus' stomach twisted with the desire to be able to touch Melanie like that in public, to put his arm around her waist and smell her hair and let every man in the room know she was his- except, she was Sirius'. He growled under his breath in frustration.

James brought a slice of cake out to everyone, which Sirius and Melanie refused. Remus looked away, knowing the drugs made them nauseous and unable to eat. Melanie would often vomit when she came to see him immediately after she had shot up.

An awkward silence ensued as presents were opened and Lily chattered on amiably about the baby she was carrying. It was a boy, she told them, and they were going to name him Harry. Remus wasn't paying her any attention- thinking instead about how he would never have a family of his own.

When James crooked a finger at him, gesturing for Remus to follow him into the kitchen, he sighed and complied. Once they were alone, James turned to face him. "Moony, what's going on?" he asked. He cast a quick glance at the door to be sure they wouldn't be overheard. "You're acting funny."

"No, I'm not."

James shook his head and crossed his arms in a defiant gesture. "You forget that we have ten years of history between us, Remus," he warned softly. "I know you. What are you hiding?"

Remus sighed and looked away. James was right- the other man could always tell when something was bothering him. "It's Melanie," he confessed. "The drugs- I'm starting to worry."

James raised an eyebrow. "And?"

Remus felt a rush of irritation flood his veins as James stared at him expectantly. "It's none of your business," he said shortly.

James reached out and grabbed his arm. "Remus- if you're shagging Melly- you know Sirius will lose it."

"Lose what?" Sirius asked, sauntering into the kitchen. He grinned at his two best friends. "Talking about me behind my back, are we?" he joked.

Remus flushed bright red and brushed past him wordlessly to exit the kitchen. James scowled at his friend. "Good job, Padfoot. We were having a conversation."

"'Bout what?" Sirius asked, polishing an apple he had found in a bowl on the counter. He rubbed it vigorously on his sleeve before inspecting it; deciding it was edible, he took a giant bite. "What's wrong with Moons?" he asked around a mouthful of fruit.

James rolled his eyes. "Just ill, I think," he hedged. "I'm starting to worry about him, though."

Sirius chuckled. "He's spending too much time with Melly, that's what's wrong," he said jovially. When James simply stared at him, he continued, "She's always moping about the baby- I bet she's bringing him down." He shrugged. "Better him than me, I suppose."

James frowned at his best friend. "Doesn't it bother you that your wife has to go to someone else to feel fulfilled?" he asked bluntly.

Sirius shrugged. "Not really. She goes to Remus for emotional support, and I go to other women for a good shag. Works out in the end."

James looked angry. "Why don't you just divorce her, then, if it's that bad?"

Sirius looked shocked. "What? Why? We're fine."

"You just like having someone to shoot up with."

Tossing the apple core into the waste bin, Sirius scowled at James. "That's none of your business," he growled. "Besides, divorce doesn't really exist for purebloods. I'd be shunned more than I already am. You know that."

"I know I'm getting tired of being told nothing is my business," James retorted. "Between you and Remus-"

"What'd Remus say?" Sirius looked interested.

"Nothing," James mumbled. "It's none of my business."

Sirius rolled his eyes and pushed open the door that led into the living room. "Whatever, Prongs."


	8. Questions

**In case any of you were wondering, I have lost a child. Writing this story has actually really helped me deal with my own grief, even though it's been over two years since it happened. Just like Melanie, I withdrew for a while; she turned to the drugs to help ease her pain, though, while I did not. Sirius reacted much the same way my husband did- he is unable to fully comprehend the grief she is facing and expects her to move on quickly. The fact that Melanie can remain friends with Lily while her pregnancy advances, much less wanting her own children, is a major sign of acceptance and healing. That's why I tied it in with her decision to stop abusing the heroin. Let me know how you think this chapter turns out!  
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"Do you want children, Remus?" Melanie asked idly the next day. They were sprawled out on the living room carpet in front of the fire at Remus' cottage. She was laid back against his chest, his legs on either side of her as he played with her hair. At her words, his hand stilled.

"What?" he asked, keeping his tone light.

"Do you want children?" Melanie repeated. "I know Sirius doesn't. He couldn't handle it if I lost another one. But the whole point of our marriage was to have little pureblooded brats to keep the precious blood line going." Her tone was mocking.

Remus frowned into her hair, breathing in her scent. "Melly-"

She picked at a piece of lint on his robes. "I want children. When I lost the baby-" She stopped, and Remus knew she was fighting tears. "When I saw Lily yesterday- Remus, she was glowing. She looked so beautiful and happy. She and James have such a good marriage." She sniffed. "I want to be like them."

Remus didn't know what to say, so he wisely kept silent.

Melanie turned in his arms to face him. "I want to stop the drugs, Remus."

His face must have betrayed his thoughts, because she said quickly, "I mean it. I want to stop. I'm getting older; it's time to grow up, do things right." She stroked his cheek, and he closed his eyes at her touch. "I want to have a good life, like Lily and James."

Remus looked at her sadly. "You know you can't leave Sirius, love," he told her bluntly. "He could have the courts drag you home. It wouldn't be worth it."

"I want your children, Remus," she confessed softly. "I want to start over. God, I've made such a mess out of my life!"

He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Shhh, don't fret. You'll only make yourself sick."

"I am sick," she said into his chest. "Sick to death of being cheated on and lied to and treated as some kind of trophy. Sick of being told that I shouldn't grieve for my son; sick of being thrown around like a rag doll."

He stroked her black curls and tried hard not to think about what life must be like for her at home. "Melly, you can't change the past. What's done is done, and now we both have to live with our choices."

She sat up and frowned at him. "What choices could you possibly have to regret making?"

He kissed the tip of her nose. "Not telling you I loved you in fourth year," he said honestly.

She smiled cheekily and dipped her head to nip at his earlobe. "You've told me now."

He groaned as she began kissing his neck. Reaching up, he buried his hands in her hair, tilting his head back to allow her to reach more of his skin. "It's too late now, Melly."

Nimble fingers slipped his robes off of his shoulders. "It's never too late," she said forcefully.

He pushed her gently, forcing her to sit back. "Melly, I love you. But I can't just throw away ten years of friendship with Sirius. It doesn't work like that."

"So, if I left him, you wouldn't have me?" she asked.

He shook his head. "You can't leave him, love; we've talked about this. You know the laws. He can divorce you, but you can't initiate the suit."

She frowned. "So, I have to ignore all of his late-night escapades, but he could throw me to the wolves if he knew what I've been doing behind his back?"

Remus sighed. "Yes."

She growled in frustration. "That's so stupid!" she cried. She kissed the inside of Remus' wrist, moving along the tender skin of his arm to his chest, where she began tracing his scars with her tongue. He shivered. "I don't care," she breathed onto his skin. "I love you. I don't care anymore."

Remus knew he had lost the argument, so he did the only thing a man in his position could do- he rolled her over and began returning her kisses with passion.

* * *

><p>An hour later, a knock sounded at the door. "Moony!"<p>

Remus, who had been dozing on the couch with Melanie sleeping contentedly in his arms, sat up with a start. "Sirius?"

"Open up," Sirius' voice growled.

Remus shook Melanie gently, hissing at her to go upstairs and get dressed. As she disappeared around the corner, he threw his own robes on and answered the door. "Sirius."

Sirius pushed past him. "Where's Melly?" he asked. His pupils were dilated; Remus knew he was high. He sniffed the air and smelled the distinct scent of liquor. Add drunk to that.

Remus frowned at him. "I don't know."

"Bullshit." Sirius walked into the kitchen, which was deserted. "She's always here with you."

"Sirius-"

"MELANIE!" Sirius tipped his head back and bellowed his wife's name.

Immediately, Melanie came serenely down the stairs. "What do you want, Sirius?"

Sirius took a moment to glare at Remus before snapping at his wife. "Where the hell have you been?" he snarled. "You haven't been home all day."

Melanie raised a perfect eyebrow. "And you have? Congratulations, Sirius, I think that's the first time you've actually been home long enough to realize whether or not I was there."

Sirius scowled at her. "You could have at least made dinner before you disappeared."

Melanie stood to her full height- which wasn't much, in truth- staring down at him from her position on the fourth step. "You should learn how to cook for yourself, Sirius. Or better yet, ask your latest conquest to make you something to eat."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. He did not like being patronized. "You are coming home. Now."

Melanie looked to Remus, who only shook his head. She sighed and met her husband's eyes. "Fine."

Sirius turned and left the kitchen without another word. Melanie followed meekly. Remus grabbed her hand as she went to leave the kitchen, pressing his lips to her palm. "You'll be fine, Melly," he assured her. "We'll figure something out."

She nodded before following her husband out the door.


	9. Difficult Decisions

**I know this is short, but I wanted to get you all a timely update! Thanks to Julie London for being such a faithful reviewer- I look forward to your input! :)**

Several days later, Melanie walked into the kitchen of her home and stopped in the doorway. Sirius was sitting at the table, his face buried in his hands, his shaggy black hair hanging limply in his eyes. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and his collar was undone. An empty bottle of Firewhiskey sat in front of him on the table, a ring forming in the wood finish as the bottle sweated.

Melanie inched into the room warily. "Sirius?"

He looked up, and she saw that his eyes were rimmed with red- from the alcohol or from crying, she wasn't sure. He frowned at her. "Where have you been?"

"Does it matter?" she asked coldly.

Sirius stood to his feet, and she noticed that he swayed a little. "You've been with Remus again."

She raised her chin defiantly. "And?"

Her husband crossed the room in three quick strides and grabbed her forearms, pushing her back against the wall. His handsome face was close to hers, his aristocratic features twisted with an emotion she couldn't identify. "I don't want you spending any more time with him, Melly."

Her blue eyes searched his grey ones for a hint as to why he was so incensed. "Why?"

Sirius looked away for a brief moment, and when his gaze met hers again she could see a hint of sadness behind the anger. "He's been acting strangely for months," he told her. "Melly- there's a spy within the Order. Someone is leaking information to Voldemort." She flinched at the name, but Sirius continued blithely. "I don't think we can trust him."

"What?" Melanie couldn't believe that Sirius would think such a thing of his best friend. She knew why Remus had been acting strangely, of course, but she certainly wasn't going to unleash the firestorm that would inevitably start once Sirius knew of her infidelity. "Remus?"

"Stay away from him, Melly," he warned. "Just until we know for sure."

"You're being ridiculous," she told him, struggling against his grip.

He frowned at her. "Look, I know you two are close. But I just- Melly, I want you to be safe. Just- wait until we know, okay?"

She refused to meet his eyes. "Okay."

He nodded, satisfied, before grabbing another bottle of Firewhiskey and staggering into the living room to drink alone.

* * *

><p>Melanie looked up at the sound of a soft <em>pop<em> that signaled someone's arrival in her home. "Hello?" she called, placing the last of the clean robes she had been folding in the laundry basket and wandering into the hallway.

"Melly." Remus' voice echoed from where he had Apparated downstairs.

She hurried down the steps and into his arms as he rounded the corner. He held her close. "Where have you been?" he asked curiously. "I haven't seen you in a week. Does Sirius-?"

She shook her head, breathing in the smell of books and leather and musk that clung to his skin. "No, of course not."

"Where is he?" Remus asked, looking around the hallway.

She scoffed. "Out again. He won't be home for a while." She pulled back to look at him. "He had a hard time yesterday, Remus," she explained. "Two kids were killed when they got ambushed by Death Eaters in Surrey yesterday afternoon. He was with them. He came home covered in blood." She shivered. "He came home around midnight, changed, and left. I haven't seen him since."

Remus frowned, knowing that Sirius did not handle the sight of blood well. He didn't want to worry Melanie, though, and so he simply stroked her cheek and promised her that everything would be okay. His whispered reassurances soon became groans of passion, and she led him upstairs to her bedroom. As he caressed her warm skin, he wondered vaguely what would happen when they were found out. He knew it would happen one day; Sirius was no idiot. But her sighs and whimpers distracted him from any inner moral discourse, and he allowed himself to become lost in the moment.

They sat at the dinner table later that afternoon, eating leftover steak-and-kidney pie that Melanie had stored in the icebox. Remus broke the silence. "Melanie, we can't keep doing this."

She looked up at his use of her full name. "Why not?" She sounded sad, and a little bit frightened.

He sighed and passed a hand over his face. His features already had premature lines- he was barely twenty, and yet looked much older. The stress from his monthly transformations had taken its toll on his body, and the anxiety he felt over his affair with Melanie was not helping. He gave her a sad smile. "This isn't fair to Sirius." When she opened her mouth to argue, he continued, "And it's not fair to either of us."

She gave him a strange look. "What do you mean?"

"Melly-" He reached across the table and took her fork from her hand, placing it on her plate and swallowing her tiny hand up in his large, calloused ones. "It puts you in danger- your marriage is at stake. And it's not fair to me because-" He cleared his throat. "-because it gives me false hope."

There was a long pause as she stared at her plate. Remus was about to apologize, to take back everything he had just said, when she sighed. "You're right," she said resignedly. She met his gaze. "I do love you, Remus," she said softly. "Please don't ever doubt that."

He gave her a sad smile. "I know." He leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her cheek. "I will love you until the day I die," he promised. "You will always be the most important person in my life."

She bit her lip, trying desperately not to beg him to stay. He pushed his plate away and stood up, brushing his lips against her upturned face before disappearing. Melanie stared at his empty chair and began to cry.


	10. New Arrival

**I've tried to stay as close to canon as I can in this story- hope I'm doing alright!**

"Melly!" Sirius' loud voice boomed through the house a few weeks later. She turned from washing the dishes, wiping her hands on a towel. "I'm in here!" she called.

Her husband appeared in the kitchen, an enormous grin plastered across his face. "Lily's had the baby!"

Melanie shrieked and ran across the room to wrap her arms around his waist. "Really?" she asked breathlessly. "Is she okay? It's a boy, right? How is he? How's James?"

Sirius laughed and kissed her soundly. "It is a boy, and they've named him Harry," he told her, smiling when her face lit up. His heart sank when he remembered the look of joy that had crossed her face when she found out she was pregnant right after graduation. He shook his head. Now was not the time to fall into bad memories. He grabbed her hands. "There's better news," he began, laughing when she threw her arms around his neck and begged him to tell her. "We're going to be the godparents."

Melanie stared at him. "Us?" she repeated stupidly.

He gave a bark-like laugh. "Yeah! I just spoke to James. Lily's agreed to it."

Melanie frowned. "Sirius, we're the last people they should want to entrust with their child."

The smile vanished from Sirius' face when he realized she was serious. "What do you mean?"

She waved an arm helplessly around the room. "Look at us! We can't get along for more than two seconds! And I'm sure they wouldn't want Harry around the drugs!"

Sirius scowled at her. "Who else were they gonna ask?" he challenged.

"Remus."

He made a face. "I told you, there's something going on with Moony. I don't trust him. Besides, he turns into a raging monster once a month. And can you see Peter taking care of a kid?"

Melanie shook her head. "You need to talk to them, Sirius. This isn't right."

Sirius shrugged. "What are the odds of us having to raise him, anyway?" he asked matter-of-factly.

Melanie nodded her agreement, still pondering the situation. Surely Remus would have been a better choice, even if he was single. He could have someone else watch Harry during the full moon. Something didn't feel right.

Sirius sensed her discomfort. Pulling her into his arms, he told her, "Melly, quit worrying. It's just a precaution. Nothing to worry about."

She allowed him to hold her, enjoying the feel and smell of him. He hadn't touched her in months, choosing instead to stay out at night with women he met in the pub. She wished he would love her- the way Remus did- but knew that it simply wasn't in Sirius' makeup to be faithful. He needed the rush, the thrill, the adrenaline- why else would he have agreed to join the Order? She buried her face in his robes and sighed. She said a silent prayer that it would never come to pass that she and Sirius would have to take care of Harry.

* * *

><p>"He's perfect," Melanie breathed, playing with Baby Harry's tiny fingers and toes as Lily looked on. They were sitting in the Potters' living room, sharing a cup of tea and visiting while their husbands were at an Order meeting. Melanie had noticed the strange, suspicious look Sirius had given Remus when they met at the door. Her husband was still convinced that Remus was a spy for Voldemort, and he refused to listen to her when she tried to explain that that was impossible. She hoped Sirius would keep his mouth shut- surely he wasn't stupid enough to start a fight in the midst of a war.<p>

Smiling, Lily reached out to take Harry back into her arms. "He looks exactly like James, doesn't he?"

Melanie giggled. "Almost. He has your eyes, Lily."

Lily gazed at her son, enraptured. "I can't believe we're parents."

"I can't believe you asked us to be the godparents," Melanie observed dryly, raising an eyebrow.

Lily laughed. "Who else would we ask? You two are our friends."

"But-"

"Remus couldn't handle a child on his own; he can barely afford to feed himself. And Peter is not the kind of man I want having an influence on my son."

"He _is_ whiny," Melanie agreed.

Lily gave her a kind smile. "You and Sirius will be excellent godparents, I'm sure of it."

Before Melanie could answer, Lily changed the subject. "What's going on between you and Remus?" she asked idly, playing with Harry's shock of messy black hair. She didn't look up as she stated, "You haven't been spending a lot of time together lately. It's almost like you're avoiding each other."

Melanie shifted uncomfortably. "We…ended it."

Lily met her eyes, and Melanie was surprised to see pity in their emerald green depths. "You two would have been perfect for each other," she said softly. "I know you love Sirius, but- Remus would have done everything he could to give you the best life possible."

Melanie looked away, feeling her cheeks turn red with shame. "I know he would have. But to be honest, even if I had known how he felt back at school, I can't say I would have walked away from Sirius. We're too alike."

Lily pursed her lips. "You're both looking for satisfaction in a relationship built on uneven footing," she observed. "Blood shouldn't be the basis of marriage." When Melanie began to speak, Lily cut her off. "And neither should an addiction."

Hot tears stung her eyes as Melanie looked away. Leave it to Lily to be blunt about something she'd rather not admit to. "I'm trying to stop, Lily," she said quietly. "I have to. For Harry. What if something were to happen and he needed us? I can't keep living like this."

Lily looked surprised. "Why don't you, then?"

Melanie choked back tears as she explained, "It hurts. I feel….so _awful_ if I don't get my fix. I want to die. I don't- I don't think I have the strength to stop, Lily."

Her friend leaned over and patted her hand in an understanding gesture. "Baby steps," she advised. "At least _you_ want to stop."

Melanie looked away, knowing Lily was referring to Sirius.

Lily cleared her throat. "I'm going to start dinner. They'll be home soon." She stood up, coming around the coffee table to hand Melanie the bundle of blankets that was Harry. "Will you hold him for a bit?"

"Sure," she agreed, smiling down at the baby. She fought tears again as she remembered the excitement and anticipation she had felt when she had been pregnant. She had so looked forward to being a mother.

She sat there for several minutes, lost in her thoughts, when suddenly voices in the kitchen startled her. She looked up to see Sirius walking into the living room, with Remus right behind him.

Sirius strode directly over to her. "Let me see him," he said, holding out his arms. Melanie reluctantly handed Harry over. She caught Remus' eye for an instant over her husband's shoulder before she looked away.

Remus took the hint and walked back into the kitchen, laughing good-naturedly with James as Sirius settled down on the arm of Melanie's chair, Harry held close to his chest. He sighed. "Maybe one day we'll have one of these," he said suddenly.

Melanie looked away. "Maybe," was all she said.

Sirius sighed. "Melly, you have to move on. I want children. I know you want children. You can't hold on to the one you've lost."

"_We _lost, Sirius," she reminded him. "He was your son, too."

Sirius wisely decided to hold his tongue and instead began cooing to Harry, tickling the boy's toes.

Not long after, Lily called them into the kitchen for dinner. Sirius handed Harry back to his mother and took a seat across from Melanie. She pretended not to notice that her own husband didn't want to sit by her. She knew it wasn't anything personal; Sirius was hurt that she wasn't ready for a baby yet, and he would never understand the sense of loss she felt as an expectant mother. Her next baby wouldn't be her first, but it would be her oldest. She wasn't a mother, but she had decorated a nursery and bought baby clothes and prepared to be one. She felt as if she was lost in limbo between childhood and motherhood, and no one would ever understand her intense disappointment and grief.

She caught Remus looking at her and refused to meet his eyes. Let him think what he wants, she thought. I don't owe him an explanation.


	11. Reunion

**I know, I know, this chapter is unacceptably short. It is also M rated- which is why it just didn't fit with the next part of the story. Enjoy the slight smut, and I will have the next chapter up soon! I have been amazed at the amount of interest in this story- thanks to all of you! Reviews make me happy! :)**

Warm lips trailed hot, passionate kisses along her skin as she raked her nails down his back. She groaned as he licked along her naked skin, trailing his tongue along her hip. She tugged on his hair, moaning to let him know that she was ready, that she wanted him- now.

He slid his naked body along hers as he moved back up to capture her mouth in a kiss. She moaned into his mouth as he prepared to enter her. She was going wild with desire; it had been too long since she had last felt his touch. The heroin that she had injected before he came home was rushing through her veins, and her body sang with the mixed euphoria of drugs and sex. He felt so damned _good_.

She pressed her lips to his collarbone, making him shiver and push himself against her entrance. She was wet and ready, anticipating the feel of him inside her. She breathed his name against his neck, and it was enough to make him drive himself into her in one long, hard thrust. She tipped her head back and enjoyed the sensation as he filled her. She didn't have to encourage him to begin moving, and she whimpered with a pleasant mixture of pain and euphoria as he took her roughly.

He moved above her for what felt like hours but what was probably only several minutes, grunting and moaning her name as he slipped in and out of her tight, wet heat. Melanie felt her pleasure begin to build, and cried out when the waves of bliss took over her body and mind. Almost immediately, he drove into her with a final thrust and came as well, clutching her to him and groaning into her hair.

They lay there for several moments until they both came down from their high, and then he rolled over to lay beside her. Holding out an arm, he allowed her to snuggle close to him. She rested her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat out a rapid staccato as he played with her black curls idly. She sighed and closed her eyes in contentment.

After a few moments, when his breathing had begun to slow, she twisted in his arms to look up at him. "Remus?"

"Mmmm?" He was on the verge of sleep; his face was relaxed, and he could barely open his eyes to look at her.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

He smiled at her indulgently. "You didn't enjoy it?"

She smacked his chest lightly in a playful gesture. "You know I did. I just- I thought we were done with this?"

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I couldn't help myself," was all he said.

Melanie wasn't convinced. "But what brought it on?" she persisted.

He chuckled, drawing her body closer to him. He remained silent for several moments, and Melanie had almost given up hope on him answering her when he said, "I saw how you were with Harry the other day." He paused. "I saw how much you want a child of your own, and I could see how much you miss the one you lost."

Melanie didn't say anything.

He kissed the top of her head. "It just made me want you even more," he said simply. "I want you to have children- _my _children. I want to be the one who gives you that joy I saw in your eyes when you held Harry."

She turned over onto her stomach and gave him a confused look. "Remus, if I get pregnant- you know everyone will think it's Sirius'."

He shrugged. "We will know the difference." He stroked her cheek. "That's all that matters."

"Sirius will know," she pointed out. "He never touches me anymore. He'll figure it out."

Remus shook his head. "I don't care," he said bluntly. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But right now, I want to fuck you again."

She laughed and allowed him to sit up and grab her hips from behind, sighing when he entered her again. The full moon was in two days' time, and his sex drive was unbelievable. She groaned when he grabbed a handful of her hair and began thrusting, hitting that sensitive spot inside her with every stroke. And she knew, in that moment, that she would love Remus Lupin for the rest of her life.

**A/N: I know Remus might seem a little out of character at the end of this chapter, but I was trying to make the point that he becomes a different person as the full moon approaches. Let me know what you think- I am always open to suggestions and criticism!**


	12. Four Months Later

Four months later, Remus was sitting at his desk in his living room, going over paperwork regarding his finances. They weren't looking good- the Order took up a lot of his time, and no one was willing to hire him once they learned of his condition. He had been away for the past several weeks, he had been staying with the werewolves on Dumbledore's orders in an attempt to convince them to join the wizards against Voldemort. He ran a hand through his sandy brown hair, biting his lip as he tried to make money appear just by wishing for it.

A knock sounded at the door, and he rose, dropping his quill carelessly on the desk and crossing the room to answer it. When he opened the door, he was met by James' pale face. "What's wrong?" he asked. He thought immediately of Lily and Harry, but knew that they were in hiding. Sirius had been appointed their Secret Keeper as Voldemort did his best to hunt the Potters down. Remus wasn't even sure what town they lived in anymore. For James to appear on his doorstep like this, unannounced…

"You need to come with me," was all James said before he grabbed Remus' arm and Apparated to the Blacks' home. They appeared in the kitchen, and Remus' nose twitched at the strong smell of alcohol. "What's Sirius done?" he asked automatically. He and James had always been the ones to clean up Sirius' messes.

James shook his head. "Remus-"

A shriek sounded in the doorway, and before Remus could process what had happened, a red-headed blur threw herself into his arms. "Oh, Remus," she sobbed. "Oh, how could this happen?"

"What's going on?" Remus asked, feeling panic begin to bubble in his chest as he tried to pull Lily off of him.

James had gone pale, and looked like he was unable to speak. He walked into the living room, Remus following with Lily clutching his arm. Sirius was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, his legs out in front of him, clutching a half-empty bottle of Firewhiskey. His shaggy black hair hung in his eyes, and the collar of his white shirt was undone. His tie hung loosely around his neck. He was staring unseeingly at the floor, tears sliding down his cheeks and onto his hands, and he made no move to wipe them away. Remus suddenly felt like he was going to be sick.

Lily moved to sit beside Sirius, patting his arm comfortingly, but he took no notice of her. He looked up at Remus, and his face showed no emotion. "I hope you're happy," he said coldly. "You took her from me. She was all I had, Moony."

Remus stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"She was pregnant!" Sirius bellowed, red splotches of anger appearing on his cheeks as he yelled. "You fucking bastard, she was pregnant." As if his outburst had taken all of his energy, he became almost comatose again, staring at the floor and ignoring Lily's attempts to soothe him.

Remus looked at James. "What the fuck is going on?" he asked, and James winced at his use of profanity. He began walking down the hallway towards the master bedroom, where Remus and Melanie had spent so many evenings holding each other and making whispered promises.

As they entered the room, Remus finally saw what had everyone so upset. Melanie was sprawled across the bed, looking for all the world as if she had fallen asleep. A tourniquet was still wrapped around her upper arm, and a used needle had rolled away from her lifeless fingers. Remus was startled to hear someone begin screaming like a wounded animal; he was even more surprised when he realized that _he _was the one making that noise. He stumbled towards the bed, desperate to hold her hand, to shake her, to yell at her until she woke up. It had been several weeks since he had last held her. He was shocked to see that Sirius was right- Melanie's slim waistline was slightly swollen; she had just begun to show.

James hurried over and held him back before he could climb onto the bed beside her. "Moony, be careful, there are used needles all over the place," he hissed, clutching Remus' shoulders. Remus found he didn't have the strength to fight him. He collapsed to the floor, holding his face in his hands and sobbing. James tried to comfort him, sitting beside him and patting his shoulder awkwardly. Remus looked up at him, pain written on his handsome features. "What happened?" he choked out.

James bit his lip. "Sirius said it was a bad batch of heroin. Said he'd looked at it after he- you know, found her. Said it was cut with cocaine. She probably had no idea; it was just too much for her system."

"She didn't-"

James gave him a pitying look. "No, she didn't do it on purpose. And just so you know, neither I nor Lily knew that she was…"

"Pregnant," Remus finished, feeling his heart break with his loss.

James wouldn't look at him. "Lily said that she and Sirius-"

"He hasn't touched her in over a year, if that's what you're asking," Remus told him bluntly. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "The baby was mine."

James just nodded, staring at the floor.

Remus sat beside Melanie's cold body, grieving, until Lily came in and forced him to leave. She ushered him out the door and into the living room, promising that they would have a beautiful service for Melly, that she would make sure everything was perfect…Remus never heard the rest of her plans, as Sirius' fist connected with his nose. He fell to the ground, refusing to fight back as Sirius took out all of his anger and hatred and grief on him. All too soon, before he felt that he had been punished enough for his sins, everything went black.

**A/N: I know, I know, I'm so mean. Please tell me what you think. This is the first story I've actually finished. LoL. There will be an epilogue, as well. :)**


	13. Epilogue 12 Years Later

_**I am excited- and yet also very saddened- to finally complete a story. Melanie's tale was fun to write and explore. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing! The epilogue is written from Remus' point of view, which explains why he misunderstands Sirius' part in the Potters' deaths- he is in fact, as we all know, perfectly innocent.**_

_Twelve years later_

Remus sat at his desk at Hogwarts, grading papers and staring gloomily out at the grey sky. It was going to rain, most likely a late afternoon shower. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. More lines had appeared on his face, and his hair definitely had more grey in it than before. It wasn't his monthly transformations that had destroyed his youthful good looks; it was grief. The scars that criss-crossed his chest were a testament to his despair- under the full moon, Remus had tried to tear the grief out from under his skin. Every day, he thought about Melanie, and the way things could have been. He thought about his child he would never know. And he cursed himself for not forcing her to stop the drugs sooner.

Right before Dumbledore had offered him a position as the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor at Hogwarts, word had gotten out that Sirius Black had escaped Azkaban. He had served thirteen years in the wizard prison. Not long after Melanie's body was discovered, Voldemort had found James and Lily's hideout, and had murdered them both. Only little Harry survived. Sirius had been the Secret Keeper for the Potters' location; when Peter confronted him with the revelation that they had been discovered and killed, Sirius had murdered him along with thirteen innocent Muggles. Remus had to admit, he wasn't surprised; Sirius had spent a lot of time away from home. Melly may have assumed he was conducting illicit affairs, but obviously, Sirius had used that time to get in with Voldemort's people. Remus blamed himself for Sirius' actions- surely it had been the grief of losing his wife that had driven him mad. And to learn immediately after her death that she was pregnant with someone else's child- Remus wouldn't blame him if he came to Hogwarts to kill him next.

The rumor, of course, was that Sirius was after Harry. Extra security measures had been put in place around the castle, and Remus was glad that he was able to keep an eye on Harry while he was at school. Perhaps Sirius couldn't stand the idea of James and Lily having a child when his own wife had died carrying Remus'. He didn't know. All he knew was that it was imperative to protect Harry- the last link Remus had to his old life, and the one person in this world who reminded him of Melanie and the joy he had seen on her face the day she had held Harry in the Potters' living room. He choked back a sob when he realized that he would never see Melly holding their child and smiling like that. Twelve long years had done nothing to assuage his grief.

Remus stood and walked over to the open casement window, frowning out at the dark storm rolling in from the south. Maybe he would get lucky and be hit with a bolt of lightning, or drown in the rain. He knew that he would never see Melanie again in this life, but maybe, just maybe- he'd be able to see her in the next. To hold her in his arms and remind her of how much he loved her, even now.

Sighing, he returned to his desk and went back to grading papers. Wishing away his pain wouldn't do him any more good than wishing for money. It was his curse for loving a woman that was not rightfully his. But he had spoken the truth to Melly that day in her kitchen: he would love her until the day he died- and for all eternity.

**_A/N: Poor Remus! *Hugs him close and promises to love him and take care of him forever* Back off, ladies, this werewolf's mine! :)  
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